Cheriene called to say she wanted to go to Sacramento.  I said, "OK!". I found 

The Boardwalk on the internet and gave them a call. Marcie, the manager, was very 

nice and helpful. She suggested we come around 5 to catch the bands while they 

were setting up. We were excited! 

THEN! I did some research and found that I probably should have discussed types of

music with Cheriene. We were going to see Heavy Metal groups, the kind it would 

never occur to me to listen to. I went to each band's website and found some information

on each group. There were hot guys in every group, so I knew it wouldn't be too bad. 

Graven Image came out of the folder first.  GREAT!  A band website with member bios! Sometimes band websites make it impossible to find out about the members. It's like all band members have warrants out for their arrest or something. Occasionally,  they have pictures and names, just not linked together. Then I got that "Oh, Shit" knot in my stomach.  I was going to interview people who listened to bands like Sepultura (With Max Cavalera), Skinlab, Fear Factory, Chimaira, (which Cheriene had to tell me how to pronounce), Morbid Angel, Lamb of God. When I read this out loud, Cheriene was driving and making that noise people make when they hear something they like.

I said, "I don't know who the fuck these bands are." She seemed surprised. I listen to Nellie, Akron, Ludicrous, Usher, R. Kelly, Nick Gannon, Missy Elliott, The Streets and my favorite band is World Without Sundays.

Dan Griffin has Dimebag listed as his favorite guitarist, Cheriene was impressed. I was confused.

.bipolar. "crossbreed of progressive metal, hardcore and screamo"

 "I don't know what that means." I said in a slightly panicked voice,  Cheriene reassured me that she would take care of me.

Thend  I felt better.  They had 7 men in their band; all hot and I especially like Aaron on the second row center.  Two drummers!

If you read my book "Always F**k the Drummer" the sequel to my best selling autobiography "You Ain't A REAL Band Slut If You Have Never Supported A Guitar Player That Gave You Crabs" you will know the drummer is usually the best way to go. THIS BAND HAS TWO!!!

Drop Seven has a really pretty logo. I forgot their cheat sheet, but they had a pretty Aaron too and Angel had great hair. There site has a picture of them looking really mean, except for Aaron he just looks hot and Agustin who is doing that whole come over here and lay on me thing, and their names are on the bottom of the screen. Pic

Burn, Heal, Scar If you have read the CFM  Band Award for the evening you know they won. Cheriene selected them for musical talent and I selected them for Skyler's fine ass.  I was looking forward to meeting  BHS their My Space information was so intriguing...Cheriene here; check out the female bathroom stalls for more information about the size of their....never mind.

From Burn, Heal, Scar's My Space:

We both like what we found there. I liked this:

Sounds like: "tito puente meets cannibal corpse meets the spice girls mixed with satan and a splash of chaotic fury blended with roses and other happy things. enjoy" 

Cheriene likes "Five talented musicians fill every possible void with guitars (Shaun Eachus)(Martin Bianchini), vocals (Skyler Witt), bass (Quentin Garcia), and drums (Tony Revels)... These are four true musicians who believe that musical notes should not be wasted." She couldn't wait to meet the untrue musician.

Click on the bunny to see a larger version of this photo.

When we arrived I was surprised at how small the place looked from the outside. Turned out to be larger than expected. It is just the kind of place that I would like to own. There is a bar on one side, a snack bar on the other and a big porch outside where you can sit. All ages can attend. The decorations inside are very nice and look like they were collected over a long period of time. There are some interior shots in the CFM Photo Gallery.

Johnny Love was out by the door when we came in and we agreed that he was hot! My friend saw a picture of him and called him a "lick him and stick him" kind of man. I added "lick him and stick him" to my Man Candy Rating System.

It was a great evening. I had a ball. The bands were really good. I don't listen to metal music, but I know the difference between good metal and bad metal music.

In fact, I had such a good time I have decided to become a metal chick, stop doing house work, become self-centered, get a tattoo, something pierced, say fuck a lot and worship Satan. My son said, "So the only thing you are doing is getting a tattoo and something pierced?"  My son is a smart ass!

I got my tattoo since I wrote this. I got three in fact, they were three for a .89cents at the Dollartree. I am going to put one on my arm, one on my butt and keep the other one for any possible head banging emergency that might arise.

We had an awesome interview with Graven Image unfortunately the tape got chewed up in the player and I didn't take notes so  I can't remember it.

Chris (the drummer) did start to have some sort of fit thing and had to be escorted out of the room.

His eyes went all weird, but they promised me he would be ok once they got him to his drums. He looked a little bit like a possessed person to me.

Apparently he didn't get his drum fix and all hell broke loose out front.

His eyes turned to white lasers. They were able to get him to his drums in time to save the club, but it was a close call.

Click the pic for the complete story.

Then we interviewed Burn, Heal, Scar. There interview was on that tape that got chewed up.  My notes say Skyler - Blonde,  Bean - ? . The answer to the question mark is because he is Mexican and his friends are not ethnically sensitive. It was a very funny session, I am sorry we lost that.

Pretty ain't they!

Bean, Skyler, Shaun, Dave...

 Skyler, I know in my best selling how to book "Always F**k the Drummer" the sequel to my best selling autobiography "You Ain't A REAL Band Slut If You Have Never Supported A Guitar Player That Gave You Crabs"  I said NEVER hit on the lead singer, but DAMN, look at him! Too bad I am old enough to be his mother. We could do that Demi Moore-Ashton Kutcher thing, but unlike Demi, I don't have the breast implants or personal trainer.  *sigh*  It is probably all for the best, if unleashed I would probably kill someone that young and tender.  BUT, ten years from now when Burn, Heal, Scar is really famous like, like, like...somebody that plays metal music, I am soooo going to lie and say I did him.

Never to early to learn the correct use of product placement. That's right ladies, they eat at Subway, if you want to stalk one of them, don't forget to check out the Subway in the area where they play.

The first band was Drop Seven they have an incredible drummer. This is a picture I took during sound check otherwise you wouldn't be able to see him. It is in the photo gallery big enough to actually see him.

Aaron turned out to be just as hot in person as in the pic.

Angel of course has the best head banging hair of all time. He could flip it way forward and he looked really cool on stage. He was nice enough to let me take his pic after their set. He is another one of those "come lay on me" men.

I actually don't remember the order of the rest of the bands so I will just stick in some comments.

Graven Image - First of all I would like to express my complete and utter disappointment! Chris (the drummer) said he was going to take his shirt and tie off when he played and he DIDN'T. That is just cruel!  The interview we had with them was on the tape that was ruined.

Doesn't this drum set look like an evil face? (The evil face of a man who says he is going to take of f his shirt and doesn't?)

Kainan has some really cool tattoos. These hot guys are very nice and lots of fun.

.bipolar. "Why is there a woman on stage?"  Should be the name of this band. Charlie, the name she uses to keep the authorities off track, just confuses people. I actually have a taped interview with them. I haven't decided if I will put up as an audio or if I will transcribe it.

This is a time lapse photo of Charlie head banging. Her blonde hair was perfect for the shot.

One of the highlights of my evening happened right before .bipolar. went on stage. They were doing sound checks and I was standing in front of the stage watching. The man next to me was taking pictures of Brian the drummer with his cell phone and Brian was doing lots of funny stuff. I took this picture of him. He has his little finger in his nose

I was trying to take pictures, but he was so funny I kept laughing and moving the camera. The pics  are too blurry to see.

He pulled his shirt up and I was trying to get him to do the "Fat Bastard " thing so....

I stroked my nipple to make him understand, hoping he would do that while he had his shirt up. Charlie picked that moment to sit down in front of him. This was her reaction to me.

.

It was great, she came off that platform like she was Tigger. I cracked up.

The best part was when the girl standing next to me said, "Is that your son?" First, I am not THAT old. Second, I am from the south and the south is known for some interesting family values, but even  I wouldn't stroke my nipple at my son!

Thend played last. Total High Energy Native Drive. I damned near swallowed my tongue! Holy shit all I got to say is:

These are two very, very hot men!

High energy might not adequately describe this band. They are pure entertainment. I don't really listen to the music when I am working. The only time it interrupts my photography is if it really sucks or if there is feedback, but I found myself keeping time with the music and I am not a metal music fan. Did I mention they have TWO drummers. Keith has great handfuls of CFM hair. These men are HOT! This is another one of those, "Who cares if they can play music or not, I just want to look at them." bands.

Summary:

Most embarrassing moment for Losillë printed out The End for Thend, fixed it took the wrong sheet. 

Most fun part of the evening, taping the head banging lessons Shaun from Burn, Heal, Scar gave.

Quote of the night  over heard by Cheriene:

Shaun from Burn, Heal, Scar to Angel in Drop Seven, "I pride myself  on my head banging, but I got nothing on your hair"

Losillë lost two black sharpies, one roll of exposed film and two cameras. The cameras have since been recovered.

Cheriene said, "Stop dropping things. " "Give that to me you will loose it.." 165 times to  Losillë

The tape player ate the tape with all the interviews from the afternoon.

After Show Entertainment: Go to taco bell in Orangeville late at night. The grave yard crew is SUPER hysterical.